What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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