"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
My bed smells like the plague
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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