RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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