You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
i believe in u and ur pee
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
