I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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