I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
