FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
