dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
