Will you blow on my dice?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
