Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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