a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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