Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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