This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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