My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
