so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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