my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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