I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
