Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
