Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
