oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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