sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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