you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
