I just saw a hot homeless man
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I think your dad took our porno
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
