drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
