is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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