you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
