Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
