She is in my trunk
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
