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Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
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