He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
