Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
