I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
