Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
