two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Randomize
