I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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