i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
