Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
