Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
