you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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