last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
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you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
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He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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