I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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