I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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