Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
