what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
