there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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