Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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