I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
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