no you cant smoke seaweed
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
