she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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