Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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