He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
