he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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