im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
