The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Randomize
