Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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