Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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