Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Randomize
