So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
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Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
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There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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