I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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