I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
