Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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