it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
