Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
