I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
it was like eating out sand paper
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Randomize
