You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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