After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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